Mental Health in Men

This vital episode of Dear Heather, confronts the pressing crisis of men's mental health head-on during Men's Mental Health Awareness Month. Host Heather Godby bravely shares her personal connection to the topic, having lost her younger brother to mental health struggles and being an attempted suicide survivor herself. 

The discussion dives deep into the societal pressures that lead men to suppress emotions, revealing how this often results in hidden struggles manifesting as anger, isolation, or addiction. Heather emphasizes the critical need to recognize subtle signs of distress and create environments where men feel safe to express vulnerability long before reaching a crisis point. This isn't just about awareness; it's about fostering honesty, community, and meaningful support systems.

What You'll Learn:

• The stark statistics surrounding men's suicide rates.
• How societal conditioning impacts men's emotional expression.
• Common, less obvious signs of mental health struggles in men.
• The importance of normalizing vulnerability and open dialogue.
• Strategies for supporting men in your life and recognizing red flags.
• Why awareness alone is insufficient, and what truly makes a difference.
• Resources for immediate crisis intervention.

Join Heather in this essential conversation to understand, support, and advocate for men's mental well-being, because their struggles often go unseen until it's too late. Let's make a change. 

#MensMentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #SuicidePrevention #DearHeather #SupportMen

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TikTok: @dearheather__

This podcast is proudly produced by PS Studios, learn more at www.psstudios.co

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi guys, welcome to Dear Heather. And before I start, I just want to say that this episode touches on men's mental health, suicide, addiction, grief, and emotional struggle. So if that feels heavy for you today, take care of yourself first. That's totally fine. Come back to it when you are ready. I wanted to do this episode because June is men's mental health awareness month. And quite honestly, this conversation feels really important to me right now and always will. Men's mental health is not talked about enough in a real way. We talk around it, we make posts about it, we say things like, check on your strong friends, but a lot of the time we are still not getting honest about how many men are actually struggling, how many men feel alone, and how many men have gotten so used to hiding it that no one even knows how bad it is. And this is personal for me because I lost my younger brother to mental health struggles. And I myself am an attempted suicide survivor. I'm going to do a separate episode for my brother because that to me deserves its own space, but I would be lying if I said his story is not a huge part of why this matters to me so much. The truth is this is not some small issue. In the US, men die by suicide at nearly four times the rate of women. Men also account for about 80% of suicide deaths, even though they make up about only half of the population. Think about that. Those numbers are heartbreaking, but they are also telling us something. And it's saying men are just not okay. At least not a lot of them, and too many are suffering quietly until it's just frankly way too late. And why do so many men stay quiet? I think part of the problem is that so many men were raised to believe that being emotional is somewhat of a weakness. A lot of men were really never taught how to talk about pain. They were taught to maybe push through the pain to perhaps keep it moving, to handle it, uh, maybe told not to cry, not to fall apart. And so what happens is instead of saying I'm depressed or I'm struggling or reaching out for help, it comes out a bit sideways. It comes out as anger or numbness or shutting down, drinking more, isolating, or even acting out like nothing matters because it doesn't always look like sadness, and that's what people don't really understand. And that's also why people can completely miss it. That is something I really, really truly want people to hear. Men, they don't always look depressed in the way you and I would expect. Uh, sometimes they look irritated, sometimes they look disconnected, sometimes they can get really quiet, sometimes they throw themselves into work. I see that a lot. And sometimes they start using even more substances, maybe they're taking more risks, maybe they are slowly disappearing, but also showing up at the same time physically. And only until we know how to recognize the pain when it looks soft, or maybe even when it looks obvious, we're going to miss a lot of men who are drowning right in front of us. So if you love a man in your life, here are some things worth paying attention to. What I've realized is you gotta look at the small things. If he starts pulling away, if he seems numb, if he seems more angry than usual, like I said before, if he's drinking more or using more drugs, if he's not sleeping, or maybe he's sleeping all the time, if he's talking like he is trapped, he's likely feeling like he is, like he maybe is a burden, or he might look like nothing matters anymore. Those are the things to pay attention to, those are the things that matter. Sometimes one of the most alarming signs is when someone has been in a really, really dark place and then suddenly seems calm or seems neutral. That can look like relief to you and I, but sometimes it is resignation. It is a statement of being done. I think this is what needs to change. I really think we need to make it safer for men to be honest way earlier in the game. And I don't mean when things are falling apart, not when someone is already in their crisis. It needs to happen earlier. It needs to happen in friendships, in families, in relationships, even in schools. In everyday life, you guys, we need to be talking about this. And we absolutely need to be raising our boys differently. We need to stop treating vulnerability like it's a weakness because it simply just isn't. We need to stop praising men only for what they produce and start caring about what they are carrying inside. We need better check-ins, better conversations, better support systems, and way less shame around talking about it and around asking for help. Because if men only feel permission to talk only when they are at that breaking point, then we're already too late for way too many men, quite frankly. And I really do want this to be a conversation, you guys. If this is a topic that hits home for you, whether personally or because of someone you love, I desperately want to hear from you. What have you seen? What do men need more of right now? What do you think we are getting wrong when it comes to men's mental health? What would help men maybe open up sooner and more often? Because to me, I do not think awareness by itself is enough. We see that. I mean, it's right in front of us, clear as day. I think we need honesty, we need community, and we need to start listening differently and more closely to the signs and the behavior patterns. So, to any man listening to this, I just want to say this very clearly. You are allowed to feel, you are allowed to struggle, you're allowed to be tired, you're allowed to be overwhelmed, and you are 1,000% allowed to ask for help. Needing support does not make you weak. I want to make that very clear. It makes you human. That's what we are here for, and it makes you stronger talking about it. To everyone listening that loves a man in their life, please go a little deeper. Just ask again and ask again and again if it takes that. You gotta stay in the conversation just a little bit longer. You gotta pay attention to what has changed, like we talked about earlier. Sometimes the people who need the help the most are the ones who have gotten the best at pretending that they are fine and that they just aren't. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, I don't say this lightly, call emergency services right away. In the United States and Canada, call or text 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. It is a free and confidential line, and it's available 24 hours a day and seven days a week. You guys, I truly mean this. Let's keep the conversation going. This is an epidemic. We have to, have to, have to normalize talking about this and making it a safe place for not only men, but children, women, just anyone struggling. This has been dear Heather. Thank you so much for joining me on this dire topic. Please, please, please like, share, comment, and or follow if you want to keep these conversations going and make a change. Thank you all. Alright, you guys, that's a wrap on this one, but the conversation doesn't end here. It just can't. So here's how you become part of the movement. Share this episode with someone who needs it. Follow the show so you're always in the room when it matters. Drop a review. It's how new people find us. And tag me on social media because I want to know what hit you, what challenged you, and what you're going to do differently because of it. We're not just talking about change, we're building it. One episode, one conversation, one person at a time. I'm Heather Godby. This has been Dear Heather. Let's change the world. What is going to happen today?