Dear Heather
What if the key to changing the world starts with understanding ourselves?
Welcome to Dear Heather — the podcast where mental health meets consciousness, neuroscience meets spirituality, and raw human experience meets real solutions. Hosted by Heather, a mental health advocate, super feeler, and someone who has walked through the fire of depression, anxiety, and devastating loss, this show exists for one reason: to bring awareness to the things that are breaking us and start building what will actually heal us.
Each episode is a deep dive into the full spectrum of what it means to be human — from the neuroscience of rewiring your brain and the power of neuroplasticity to the mystery of angel numbers, synchronicity, and collective consciousness. From the epidemic of youth mental health and men’s mental health to the broken systems failing the people who need them most.
From quantum physics and Schumann resonance to the quiet, radical act of learning to love yourself.
This is not surface-level self-help. This is alchemy — transforming pain into purpose, suffering into awareness, and silence into conversation.
Here’s what you can expect: real interviews with mental health professionals, neuroscientists, healers, and everyday humans who have survived the darkest of days and found their way back to the light. Every episode carries an educational element — because understanding the root cause of our suffering is the first step to ending it. We confront what isn’t working — the healthcare systems, the stigma, the disconnection — and we start talking about what will.
Dear Heather was born from personal experience. Heather is one of five brothers’ sister who lost a brother to mental illness. She has navigated her own battles with depression and anxiety for most of her life. She knows what it feels like to carry the weight of the world because you can feel everything — and she turned that into a mission: if the suffering of others hurts you, then help dismantle what’s causing it.
Whether you are on a healing journey, seeking change, or simply curious about why the world feels the way it does right now, this podcast will meet you where you are. We explore the spiritual and the scientific — yoga, meditation, and frequency healing alongside trauma recovery, emotional regulation, and the psychology of empathy. We talk about the woo-woo and the clinical. The 5D and the everyday. The mystical and the deeply practical.
Because mental illness is an epidemic. And what we’ve been doing isn’t working. So let’s get to the root of it — together.
New episodes bring fresh perspectives on consciousness, self-awareness, personal growth, suicide prevention, neurodivergence, mindfulness, holistic wellness, and the radical power of human connection. Dear Heather is more than a podcast. It’s a movement — starting with Dear Neighbor and expanding into every corner where people are suffering in silence.
Subscribe now and join a community of super feelers, seekers, and change-makers who believe the world can be different. Because it can. And it starts with a conversation.
Let’s change the world one discussion at a time.
Dear Heather
Breaking Generational Patterns: A Blueprint for Men with Josh Koepp
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
In this powerful short-form episode of Dear Heather, Heather Godby sits down with Josh Koepp to unpack the complex internal world of men. Josh shares invaluable insights on navigating toxic relationships, identifying generational patterns, and breaking free from debilitating fear and anxiety. This conversation is a must-listen for any man seeking to rebuild confidence, overcome silent struggles like shame and guilt, and step into clearer leadership in his own life. Discover practical, actionable steps for acknowledging your truth and fostering profound personal growth.
What You'll Learn:
- How to identify and address your role in toxic relationship dynamics.
- The importance of breaking generational patterns for healthier relationships.
- Strategies for unlearning long-held beliefs about fear and anxiety.
- Understanding and processing the pervasive impact of shame and guilt on men.
- Practical daily actions to rebuild confidence and embrace leadership.
- Simple morning habits to improve mental well-being and shift your day.
Join us for a candid discussion that offers a fresh perspective on courage and vulnerability.
#DearHeather #MensMentalHealth #ToxicRelationships #PersonalGrowth #JoshKoepp
Josh Koepp is the founder of Valor Men’s Coaching, where he helps men overcome fear, anxiety, toxic relationships, and other challenges that keep them from living with purpose and confidence. Through faith-based coaching rooted in accountability, ownership, and personal growth, Josh equips men to lead well in their relationships, careers, families, and their faith walk. Drawing from his own experiences and transformation, he is passionate about helping men build lives marked by courage, integrity, and lasting freedom.
https://www.instagram.com/joshdkoepp?igsh=MWF5c3Nmenh1anVsbw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr
https://youtube.com/@valormenscoaching?si=FI8Qz9GD_DLpHREk
Connect With Heather:
Instagram: @dearheather__
TikTok: @dearheather__
This podcast is proudly produced by PS Studios, learn more at www.psstudios.co
Welcome, Josh. Thank you so much for being a part of the newest segment, Deer Men.
SPEAKER_00Thank you. Thank you for having me.
SPEAKER_01How are you today?
SPEAKER_00Fantastic. Glad to be here and just uh appreciate the opportunity to talk through uh all the things with you.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. Well, not only are you a victim of the Dear Men, my first new segment, but you're also going to be the first to do an icebreaker. So not sure how this is gonna go, but we're just gonna go into it and learn a little bit about you before we hop in on Thursday's episode with the main topics and getting fully granular with that. So let's just dive in. If you had 60 seconds to talk to a man who feels stuck in a toxic relationship right now, the fearful, anxious, and unaware man that doesn't know exactly how to leave, what would you say to him?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so really good question. Um I would say first off, a man has to almost like lay it out like a math problem. Um, first off, is acknowledging what the toxicity is in the relationship, be able to examine what part they play in that. And part of being able to do that is to go back and look at maybe some track records, some generational patterns, maybe it has to do with growing up, some family environments, things of that nature. And then examining what part they play in that, taking into consideration based on those experiences, the type of people that they've attracted. So, what were those past experiences involved in the type of people that they've been dating? Because typically it's a track record of dating the same type of people and being in the same type of situation. So those are key components to examining like how we how the person got there, and then in terms of how to navigate going forward, they have to really just look internally and figure out what's important to them. What do I need, what do I want to have foundationally in the relationship, what currently exists in the relationship that isn't good, and ways that they can improve to improve the relationship, and then having those conversations with the other person. And if that other person has the ability or the wherewithal to dig in and do the same thing the man is doing with the man leading, that other person will then kind of join in that and follow along the same pathway. But it starts with digging into how they arrive there, examining what's in what's in place. Is there something to work with? What can we tweak and adjust and improve on, and then move together or move forward in unison? If that becomes a solo adventure for the man, that they've done the growth, they've done the work, the therapy, the trauma processing, all of that kind of stuff, then maybe it's a maybe it's a an exit door.
SPEAKER_01I love that you said that. And there are two things that really stuck out to me breaking generational patterns. I think we all need to do that, and it's something that is so overlooked, and then also leading with leadership, because a woman, coming from a woman's point of view, we do need that man to be that that structure, that platform, that that hard rock so that we can lean in and see, just be led. And knowing that it's a safe place. And I do feel that if a man goes through the work and understands how to lead, it's also going to give that man a little bit of compassion or a little bit of patience for the woman to also gradually get and break through her generational patterns or what she needs to learn. There's so much trauma. I don't, I feel like there's a very small percentage of people who don't have generational patterns or toxicity or trauma in their life. Absolutely. So I love that you said that. This is gonna be hard to keep it to 10 minutes because I just want to talk, but we'll say it will be, but we'll get through it. All right, next question. What's one belief about being a man that you had to completely unlearn in your life?
SPEAKER_00That could be a segment itself. Um, I would say this. I grew up believing that the issues or the say deficits that I had in my life, and we'll get into this in a little bit more depth, but I'm just gonna pick one. Uh debilitating fear and anxiety. As a man, I grew up believing, because I didn't know any better, that that was just my thing in life. Everybody's got their thing, this is just something you have to deal with. This person over here's got this, this, you know, everybody's got their thing. This is just what you have to deal with. So this crippling anxiety that prevents you from traveling, from getting in an elevator, talk more on that, um, is just what you have to deal with. And it was the biggest lie that I lived with for so many years. And when I was able to uncover that, no, not only was I able to live in freedom, but I was able to lead myself, lead others, whether it's in relationship, friendships, things like that. Um, that was a massive thing to uncover for me.
SPEAKER_01That's incredible. I think I can relate to that as well. I spent 40 years not knowing who I was, and you put it a little differently than how I explain it on other episodes. I really feel I didn't know who I was, but it was also having that same thought of this is just who I am. I don't feel I don't feel 100% whole, but I didn't really know that. I just felt uncomfortable or anxious, like you had said, um, depressed. But I think that that was because I wasn't fully even knowing who I was. So more to come on that. And I I cannot wait to hear about this elevator thing because now I'm curious. An elevator, not an escalator.
SPEAKER_00It goes way beyond the elevator.
SPEAKER_01So Oh, okay. Oh, that's gonna be a good one. Okay. What is one silent struggle you see men carrying right now that no one is really talking about, especially when it comes to fear, anxiety, or and identity?
SPEAKER_00Shame. Shame and guilt, they fall into the same bucket. Um innately, men are we're we're to lead, we're to uh be successful, to work, to um, you know, to just show up. Um, and we're to launch, we're we're meant to be that that uh in that way. And when you're not that, um, and a lot of factors come into play here. You've got social media, which is a breeding ground for unhealthy measure in comparison. So you've got that, and then you've got these internal struggles, maybe it's expectations from family. But shame and guilt are are a huge anchor, and a lot of men just don't do anything with it. They package it up, they put it on their shoulder, and they try to just move on without peeling it apart and processing it, and then everything that they do filters through that box and spills out into their life, and they just can't figure out what it is. So um it's a it's a re-evaluation on the fly. Um, there's no reason to be to feel shameful about your past or shameful for what you did. Um, these are all learning experiences and opportunities that help you grow and be better going forward. But the the main thing in that is to just acknowledge that it exists and deal with it then going forward.
SPEAKER_01Man, you're hitting all great points, and I can relate to almost every single one of these. So it's interesting hearing a man's perspective, especially you as a coach, seeing this day in and day out, you really can narrow down what the cause is. There are so many people that do go through life just just yeah, shameful or not feeling like they are hitting the expectations others have on them.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01For me, one thing that really helped me is just again, I think learning myself and giving myself a little bit of grace. And I also think that the journey is half the fun if you look at it that way, like alchemizing that when I'm down on those lows. I mean, I try to take my life 20 years ago, and it's really stuck with me for 20 plus years, and until I got over that shame, I wasn't able to use it as a strength. And now I can use it as a strength of I overcame that. Now what else can I accomplish? So I think that even when you're at your lows, that can be a launching point to do something very great.
SPEAKER_00For sure. And then the countless amount of people that you can go out and be a blessing to and help based on what you went through.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. And I think that that's the aha moment that when you can I think that we all go through experiences to help other people. And a lot of people aren't feeling fulfilled because they're not they're not helping or they're not servicing or they're not really utilizing what they've learned in life to help others. So love that. What's one simple daily action a man can take to start rebuilding confidence and stepping back into leadership in his own life?
SPEAKER_00Well the the first major step in this process is taking accountability and ownership. Um that's the overarching, and what does that mean? Um it means number one, examining again, I always go, I always go back, like how did we get here? Because it didn't happen on accident. We all have patterns and all these things just flow into the decision-making process. So, first off, we have to examine the decisions that we've made to arrive to the place that we're now trying to get out of our grow from. So, what led to that, number one, and then being accountable to those decisions, not being accountable so you can be shameful and sit in some massive toxic soup and feel sorry for yourself. Um, be accountable to them and say, Okay, yes, I participated in that, I had a hand in that, some other people did too, but I'm gonna own my part in it. There is such a freedom that comes from owning your part in something that then allows you to detach, provide forgiveness to people, to yourself based on a situation and allows you to freely move forward. That is the key, the that is the the key component to, in my opinion, being able to move forward with positive momentum and not be anchored to your past. So the accountability uh part of that is important. Um, I am a huge fan of taking everything that you have swirling in your mind that's on a rumination loop and writing it down on paper. That sounds incredibly elementary and probably a little weird to some people, but the more that we allow things to build in our mind, it's all it does is consume us and weigh us down. So if we're able to take it from here, move it onto a piece of paper, it frees us up. And then examining that, what am I making progress on every day? What do I want to make progress on? Who do I need to connect with that'll help me process through that? Um who can I, and this is an important piece we can talk about in a little more depth, but who can I develop as a trusted circle? Who can I lean on, who can I be accountable to instead of just myself? That's the starting point for me, in my opinion.
SPEAKER_01And I think that plays a really healthy part in how to lead and be a leader.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01Incredible. One last question, and I'm gonna go a little off topic so it's gonna be a little bit lighter in nature. It just popped in my head, so I'm gonna honor it. What is one thing, if a man is struggling from anxiety or depression, what's one good habit that he can do in the morning as soon as he wakes up to maybe shift his day?
SPEAKER_00So this uh so a couple of things. I'm gonna I'm gonna highlight two. The first thing, depending on where you live, but if you've got some decent abundance of sunshine, um barefoot, walk outside, round your driveway, around your grass, get in the grass, the uh concrete, whatever it is, and soak in some vitamin D. That's the easiest thing that you could do after what a lot of um people in the uh the health space would tell you to do is consume a bunch of water in the morning, then get outside and consume some vitamin D, get grounded and just sit. Far too often, especially in this world we live in right now, it's wake up and it's full on, you know, panic and what do I gotta do and all this urgency. Just give yourself the gift of five to ten minutes of sitting outside and getting some vitamin D. Um, writing some stuff down. What do I want to accomplish for the day? What do I have going on for the rest of the week? There's nothing better than a list and checking some things off. So I would just say be good to yourself for a little bit and uh get some good nutrition and start that way. That's probably the most simple, simple way to do it.
SPEAKER_01Oh, you're speaking my language. Grounding, barefoot, vitamin D, all the things. I mean, I pretty much, even in the summer, I'm in Arizona, I'm outside all the time. We talked about even at night going out and stargazing.
SPEAKER_00The best.
SPEAKER_01Um, and one more thing I would add, when you're in that quiet moment, I've always heard this, and I do think that it helps bring you a lot of abundance, is just highlighting the things that you're grateful for. Sometimes I don't even want to do it. I mean, I'm still I definitely talk about all the things that you can do to help overcome and love yourself, but I'm still human. I come from a very human side, and I struggle day to different days. You know, some days I'll wake up and just not want to be in that great mood. But then when you start to rehearse in your mind all the things that you're grateful for, you realize, wow, it's not so bad.
SPEAKER_00So important, such a great point.
SPEAKER_01This has been amazing, such a great uh 10-minute icebreaker, at least close to, with Josh Kepp. Definitely hit that subscribe button if you would like to follow along for Thursday's episode. The full episode will drop Thursday. This has been Dear Men, a Dear Heather series. Thank you all. See you next time. All right, you guys, that's a wrap on this one. But the conversation doesn't end here. It just can't. So here's how you become part of the movement. Share this episode with someone who needs it. Follow the show so you're always in the room when it matters. Drop a review. It's how new people find us, and tag me on social media because I want to know what hit you, what challenged you, and what you're going to do differently because of it. We're not just talking about change. We're building it. One episode, one conversation, one person. I'm here gonna be this is gonna be a good thing.
